August 28, 2006
Where Have I Been?
Busy, that’s where. Sure there has been the whole working thing, that’s enough to keep you busy. Did you know they expect you to spend five days a week there, and like eight hours a day? Someone needs to inform these people that there are only 7 days in a week. I wouldn’t mind working half of it, but 5 our of 7, that’s too damn much. Anyway, that is the bulk of what has been occupying my time, unfortunately. Last week alone I put in about 10 hours of overtime, which kind of sucks while doing it, but sure is nice when that paycheck comes. Well, I shouldn’t say paycheck, when that direct deposit comes, because I don’t get a check anymore, just a piece of paper reminiscent of a check that tells me what I made and says don’t cash, your money has been deposited into your account.
What else have I been doing in my limited spare time aside from ignoring the internet world like the plague? I guess I’ve been watching a little more television than usual. In fact I’m now convinced that I need to purchase a Tempur-Pedic bed. Not because I need a better nights sleep, but because I like to jump up and down in my bed and I’m far too lazy to put my glass of red wine on the nightstand.
I also have realized that if I can’t sleep, I’m not going to take that sleep aid Rozerem. Have you seen that commercial? They guy is dreaming or something and in his dream are an astronaut, Abe Lincoln and a groundhog. Why the hell would I take your drugs if all they are going to make me dream about are talking rodents and dead presidents? If I’m going to take a sleep aid, I’m going to take some of that Girls Gone Wild sleep aid and dream about naked chicks floating around a fake space shuttle.
I learned that Mr. Hankey has a new job pimping brownies for Domino’s Pizza. If that’s not a cubed Mr. Hankey then I don’t know what it is. It’s brown and it makes everything it touches brown and it brings a smile to a child’s face… it has to be him. By the way, I didn’t think anything could be grosser than Domino’s Pizza, until I saw that nasty brownie.
I also told Tom Cruise that he didn’t need Paramount anymore, although I was just joking at the time. Oops, oh well. I was also partying hard with Lindsay Lohan and she was a little late getting to her movie a few times. Don’t even ask about the conversation I had with Mel.