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March 08, 2004
NEXT ON MARTHA STEWART LIVING... CAKES WITH FILES IN THEM
In a shocking turn of events, Martha Stewart was found guilty of all charges in her trial. I guess that means that eventually Martha will have to start decorating a cell instead of a mansion.
I believe that even if she is sentanced to many years in prison, she will continue to be the domestic diva. Perhaps she will become the domestic dyke diva or something, but she will keep on keeping on. I think this is a good thing for her. What hasn't she done already on her shows and in her magazine? This will broaden the scope of her abilities. Think of all of the cool things she is going to be able to do now that she had no need for before. I have thought of a few show topics she can do once she gets put into the joint.
Getting blood stains out of the orange uniforms
Baking cakes with files in them
Butter as lubrication
How to make cold steel more inviting
Making Voodoo dolls of your lawyers
Wiping your ass with both sides of the toilet paper
Posted by Dave at March 8, 2004 07:47 PM