Vacation Planning
After working 51 weeks during the year, you deserve one great week away from it all. Now if your spouse insists you waste that well earned week at some family members house, lay down the law. Unless those family members live close to some ultra cool destination and you are staying there for free... then go for it. If that's not the case, go through some of these suggestions to help make your vacation more enjoyable.
- Pick someplace exotic. You don't really want to sit at your grandmas for a whole week do you?
- You always forget to bring something, so pack everything.
- Flying is safer than driving. Many people have died driving to Hawaii.
- Airport security is tight. You can do without your machete for a week.
- Take loads of pictures so you can rub it in the poor fuckers faces that didn't go.
- If you go to Disney World, ask Donald Duck why he puts up with all Mickey's shit.
- Make sure to take your laptop computer so you can check your e-mail. God forbid you suffer computer withdrawal while on vacation.
- Vacations are supposed to be relaxing. Leave the fucking kids at home.
- If you make the 'blow your horn' signal to a truck driver, make sure your middle finger is DOWN.
- Buy a lottery ticket while on vacation. If some out of state asshole is going to win, it might as well be you.
- When packing your luggage make sure you bring enough clothes. There is no need to be washing clothes on vacation - unless you brought the wife.
- If you are sick of your job and life, visit the deep south. That'll make you appreciate your shitty life again.
- If you visit someplace like Mount Rushmore, take plenty of pictures. I'm sure no one back home has ever seen those places before.
- Send out postcards to all the poor bastards that are stuck at work, just to remind them that you're not.