Stress Relief

stress2In this go, go, go world that we now live in, stress is an everyday factor. Although there are drugs you can take to relieve stress, getting in trouble with the law to score them will just inevitably cause you more stress. Just ask Rush Limbaugh. Instead, read some of my tips on how to help combat the everyday stress that you are dealing with.

  • Watch CNN and see what some of those people are going through, then quit your bitching.
  • Buy a pet. Pets relieve stress; unless you get a cat, then it will drive you nuts.
  • It’s hard to be all stressed when you’re drunk off your ass.
  • If it gets real bad, you could always start writing country music.
  • Call up Wal Mart and tell them you want to buy some walls.
  • Pray a telemarketer calls so you can ream them out good. Nothing relieves stress like making the Cystic Fibrosis girl cry.
  • If you are too stressed you will have a stroke; but don’t start worrying about that now.
  • Meditation is a good way to relieve stress; until someone comes along and kicks your ass for being a wuss.
  • Get a woman. She’ll make all your old stresses go away… as she replaces them with a whole new larger set.
  • Hey, you’re not as bad off as the kids on those Sally Strothers commercials. I mean, can you imagine having to spend time with her?
  • If you decide to go postal, let me know so I can call in sick that day.
  • Quaaludes… lots of Quaaludes.
  • Stress may be a sign that you are depressed. God you’re pathetic.
  • Many people unfortunately turn to food to combat stress. May I suggest Snickers Bars.
  • Tax time can cause a lot of stress in ones life. A simple solution is to not do them.

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