Massage Therapy

Advertising has never really been exactly honest with the consumer. There is also the idea that many items out there that may be considered too risqué for some can be passed off as something totally different and benign. This is what they do in head shops when they are selling bongs and calling them tobacco smoking devices. Yeah right… whatever you say there Chong. Such is also the case with the vibrator; or as it will be referred to in the purchasing circles as a “massager.” A “massager” to relax your neck and back… when you’re boyfriend’s not home.

 

EXHIBIT A

masgI found this ad in a “medical” type book. You know the one your grandma gets that she can order her cane tips and massaging shoes out of. Well, that’s not all they sell in those books. I found this ad in there for personal relief and had to laugh my ass off. Cool huh? Hey look, it’s cordless (that way you don’t get shocked when you use it). It is ideal for easing neck and back pain… ok. Now that we know what its use is for, I was just curious. Why does it come in three sizes? 7 inch, 10 inch and 12 inch? Does your neck really care how big the massager is? No of course it doesn’t. Oh boy, it’s also quiet and powerful. Also fully portable for added ease (for relieving “stress” on the road I guess). What a shame that the batteries aren’t included though. What an opportunity for Duracell or Energizer to get in on this… I’d love to see that “keeps going and going and going” commercial. I think they would make much more money if they would just advertise this product for what it is.

EXHIBIT B

masg2Well, the next time I got a catalog I had this new item bestowed upon me. This new product is the FUKUOKO 9000. This is even cooler than the old fashioned vibrator…er I mean massager. This one pulsates at 9000 waves per minute, able to get you off, I mean relaxed in no time flat. I can see trying to mask your product as something non-offensive, but if you are going to sell little vibrating penises that fit on a woman’s finger discretely as a massager, at least change the name to something that doesn’t have the word FU(c)K right in there.

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *