Golf is a wonderful game to play on nice days with your friends. It is also an activity where you can play with your balls, stroke with your club and put it in the hole. No wonder so many men like to play golf.
- When golfing, golf with people you're better than. No need to embarrass yourself.
- Learn the value of your clubs, so you know which one you can break when you get pissed.
- Always yell 'fore' when you hit the ball. It gives the impression that you hit it a great distance.
- Change your name to Tiger.
- Golf is a mind game... wow, you're really fucked.
- Remember you have a whole set of clubs which are designed to all hit different distances. Except in your case, you can't hit worth a shit.
- It's a good idea to warm up your swinging arm before you play. Drinking several beers will help loosen your arm up for the game.
- See that hole with the flag in it? That's what you're aiming for.
- Always carry an extra ball in your pocket, that way if you hit into some deep brush, you can always quietly drop the new ball in a better location without anyone noticing.
- When there is a slow group in front of you, hitting balls at them usually speeds them up.
- A golfing foursome is nothing like the foursomes in your porno movies. Leave your KY Jelly home.
- Be sure to make a dirty joke every time you see a Ball Washer.
- Don't count anything as a stroke if the ball doesn't go at least 150 yards.
- Laugh uncontrollably anytime someone else fucks up. Laugh even harder if you caused them to fuck up.
- If you for some reason totally destroy one of those golf carts, it's ok. They have insurance for that kind of thing.