Email Junk

emYou know, one of the things that totally irritates me is the fact that I’m always getting a bunch of shit in my inbox everyday. Sure there’s the spam but then there’s also the stupid emails from people too. If you’ve got a joke or something that’s one thing but if you send me something because you were told by the internet fairy to forward it to 20 people for good luck and I just happen to be number 15 then piss off. Things like this make me want to do something, but since I have no ambition for things of that nature, I just wrote a poem about it.

It seems everyday my inbox gets full,
two good things, the rest is bull.

Enlarge your penis, lose weight now,
regrow your hair, ask us how.

Naked celebs, check out our cams,
totally free porn, I call it spam.

Refinance, consolidate your debt,
online casinos to make some bets.

So many emails, all this stuff free,
is it no wonder I wear out my delete key?

When it seems like it will finally end,
then I get to the emails from my friends.

A few jokes, a survey to answer,
save this child from his cancer.

And this says e-mail will no longer be free,
thanks to a tax from bill 602P.

And these missing girls, we can’t let them down,
help us find Kelsey Brooke and Penny Brown.

And can this be true what I’m hearin?
My soda can top is deadly from rat urine.

And be careful wherever you go,
there’s HIV needles in the seats at the show.

And here’s a fact that you’ll be hatin’,
Proctor and Gamble’s run by Satan.

And here’s one that is enough to sicken,
KFC sells genetically engineered chicken.

And here’s one to forward if you get the urge,
to make money when AOL and Intel merge.

That’s the easiest money that I ever saw,
my friends a lawyer, he knows the law.

Forward this one and get a freebee,
here’s a certificate from Applebee’s.

As long as we’re on the subject of free,
here’s a Neiman Marcus cookie recipe.
They charged me $200 without telling me,
So for my stupidity you get it free.

Next time your driving what will you do,
when gangs drive cars and flash their lights at you.

And who’d want to work with these bunch of jerks,
took five days to find out this guy was dead at work.

And who knows if even Lysol can save us,
from this deadly blue sponge Klingerman Virus.

And read this one, we’re not lying,
forward now to save Amy Bruce from dying.

And be careful next time your in a nightclub,
you might wake up without kidneys in a bathtub.

And this last one you never know,
forward to 11 and you’ll see a video.

It’s a vicious cycle, it never ends,
delete ’em today, they’ll be back again.

There’s no way to deal or even cope,
before you forward, please check out Snopes.

They’ll let you know if it’s false or true,
and probably save you from looking like a fool.

So go to their site and have yourself a look,
and oh yeah-forward this to everyone in your address book.

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