Internet Dating
I wrote this article quite a while ago. Just so you know this applies more so to love in chat rooms than it does with the umpteen dating services that are currently out there. I do know a few people that have met someone on the internet and are actually married so I guess I will chock this article up to my own personal experience. Hey yours may differ. Then again you may wind up on America's Most Wanted... who knows.
Back in the old days, say 1996, I met someone in a chat room. I was very new to this whole chatting world, and had been frequenting the room #newbies in Talkcity. I knew damn near everyone, and was chatting there pretty much every night when I got home. That's when it happened. I met someone by the name of Pookie28. We talked for a while on there, and she kept on saying we should talk on the phone. I resisted for quite some time, however eventually caved in on the idea. It wasn't much later then the first few times we talked that she was suddenly "falling" for me. We all got along in the chat room and kidded, so I just went along with her. Before I knew, it had escalated into a full blown online romance. There were a lot of weird things going on. She was supposedly in a bad marriage and in the process of a divorce, although they still lived together. A word of advice to anyone new to this shit, don't give anyone your phone number online because you will most likely end up talking to someone better suited as a guest on Jerry Springer. Once these people have your number, it's very hard to get rid of them. After I finally told her that it was over and I didn't want any part of her she kept calling me. She even went as far as looking up the other phone number here and calling me on that once when I was online (which I never gave her that number). Sometimes you just have to hang up on people. The phone isn't a real personal way to get to know someone and definitely not a means to fall in love with them. I was however through a few phone calls able to find out that I would NEVER meet the person I was talking to on the other end.
She had actually planned on meeting at another chatters home in Kentucky. This was probably only a month after talking to her on the computer and telephone. Once again, I humored her a little. I had no real expectations of ever going down there for this. I don't really want to go into all the details about it, but she was definitely not someone I wanted to know in person. Which brings us to the meaning of this page.
Don't fall in love on the Internet. You are not falling in love with a person, you are falling in love with their projected image. The person you think that you know is the person they want to be, but usually isn't the real them. Now, if you choose to ignore my stories of personal experience, understand a few things. If you want to meet someone, go ahead, but heed the safety warnings. You know the "Unsolved Mysteries" warnings! Meet in a public place, take a friend with, or at least let others know where you are going. Just don't expect to make a love connection. Remember, this is the first time you've really met. You may meet and wonder how the hell you could stand someone who has such annoying habits. Think about it. Now, assuming you took all that I have just said with a grain of salt, let me warn you.
Hey guys, just in case you didn't know, if there is a girl online that says she is a real hottie. She's lying. Ain't NO hotties online - especially Friday or Saturday night. If she says she is a beautiful blonde with a hot face and great body and she gives you excellent measurements, guess what? She's lying. Lets examine this situation a little closer. If she is online and is as beautiful as she says, here are your options. 1) She is flat out lying. 2) She has some sort of defect, ask her how many fingers and toes she has. 3) It's really a guy. 4) 8 kids, 8 different daddy's. 5) She is kinda cute......but she's only 12. Anyway you should hopefully get my point. If not, think of the ugly girl at the bar hoping to find a man so drunk he can't see her because that's who you're chatting with. Just think, this is probably the girl you had cyber sex with one night. Remember that, the night you got a cramp in your right hand and had to buy a new keyboard the next day? Most internet girls couldn't give me a wet dream with a fire hose and two bottles of NyTol. Believe that.
Now ladies, do you honestly think you are going to meet a tall dark handsome man online? Nine times out of ten you are not going to end up with Ricky Martin. Any guy that tells you he is a handsome devil and he is so desirable is NOT lying. He isn't desirable either, but in his own little world he is... hell, his 10 cats seem to like him very well. Here are a few suggestions for you to help check his game. 1) Ask him if he brushes his teeth or just soaks them overnight. 2) Ask him why he broke up with his girlfriend and hope the words "homicide", "investigation" or "suspect" don't pop up. 3) Ask his name and hope Jebidiah or something doesn't show up on your screen. Well, well, well... Next time you find yourself getting intimate with a strange man on the internet, just think of people like Ted Bundy, Charles Manson, a professional wrestler. This is probably the guy you just wired $100 bucks to for a bus ticket to your hometown. This is the guy that is calling you every night and talking to you 'til the wee hours of the morning. This is the guy that now has your phone number and address and knows your life story. Got some chew and Old Milwaukee? How about Life Insurance? A gun?