The Fun Stuff

This is in no way a full blog entry. This is more like a preview of what is to come. We had a hell of a major hail storm here last Tuesday. I wll try and throw some pictures on the site soon. I’m getting a new roof out of the deal.


I have been ignoring the blog again, but this time with good reasoning. I have been very busy trying to mow the grass I have and get the new grass to grow where there is just dirt. The good news is that the first round of new grass has started growing. I got some of that green stringy stuff to put over the new grass and it seemed to work wonders for helping it grow.

Today I was outside raking my dry dirt part of my yard so I could plant the new seed and I turn around and there is a big ass black bear running down the sidewalk. I haven’t run since I was forced to in high school, but I made it inside my house in record time. This was no baby cub bear; this was a big ass frightened black bear. I’ll stare down a Chihuahua any day, but I’m not fucking with a bear.

That was my excitement for this week. Good news is that I’m off work now until Tuesday of next week. My friend Mike is up from North Carolina and weather permitting we’re going out golfing tomorrow. I would say that beats working any day. We went golfing on Monday (another paid day off I had) and holy shit am I out of shape. We walked the first nine holes and rented a cart for the second nine. My legs hurt from walking and my upper body hurt from swinging. I suppose if I didn’t have to swing 11 times per hole I wouldn’t be in such rough shape.

I noticed today that someone in Ohio won the 260 million dollar Powerball yesterday. I just want to remind my bestest friend Lisa that I am still around just in case it was her that won…

Now, off to the bar to play some pool!!!

Damn Stripes

Ah, this homeowner shit is for the birds. The person I bought the house from had a child, in my back yard are dead grass patches in the shape of various playthings that children have. The side of the garage is pretty much all dirt, weeds and rock. I landscaped the side of the garage last weekend and planted grass there and in my jungle gym spots as well. I also have more weeds growing in my yard that a normal person should. I decided to apply a lovely product called weed and feed last Saturday to my entire lawn. As I look out this morning trying to decide if I should or shouldn’t mow lawn, I am noticing that I have distinct dark green stripes of thick grass with lighter colored thin grass between. I now see that when I used the spreader that I did not provide the even cover that I should have. This makes mowing lawn a pretty sure bet now. I need to do it before those 90’s get here tomorrow.

That’s right, it’s time for the official “it’s too hot, I wish it would cool down” complaint. In fact, I think that’s all I really need to say about that issue. Actually the heat doesn’t bother me now, because I have central air now… that’s right, I’m like the Jefferson’s and I moved on up. I only had to use it about three times last year after I moved in, but that is so much sweeter than those lame ass window units I used to screw with.

In other news, my allergies are kicking my ass it seems. That is about the only thing I miss about winter time. That and not having to get off my ass to mow the lawn.

Discover This… You Suck

I’ve had credit cards now since I was in my late teens. My first “credit application” was when I was 13 when I bought my first stereo system. Of course I had to have my mom cosign for me but I was able to pay for it. Of course now that I think back, how the fuck did I when I was too young to have a job? Weird. Anyway, the point is that I have been involved in the credit world for a long time up to my ultimate credit of a house, aka legalized loan sharking. There is nothing I enjoy more than purchasing something worth x amount and then over the next 30 years paying back damn near double that amount. Where is my winning lottery ticket, I hate interest unless I’m earning it.

This brings me to my least favorite credit card… Discover. Why are they so damn pesty? My card doesn’t expire for like 5 years, but it seems they send me a replacement card every year. Do you think I am wearing it out? I don’t even use it. The only reason I would carry my Discover card is if it was icy and I forgot my scraper for my car windows. That, or if I wanted to break into a door that doesn’t have a deadbolt on it; other that those reasons, that card is totally worthless. Now I just got my new card in the mail again (my original was good through 2013, just like the replacement they sent me) so I had to call and activate it. When I call to activate I’m put through to the live person instead of being able to just activate by pushing buttons like normal cards do. I get on the phone with this woman and she’s asking me why I haven’t used my card since 2008. I said well I normally just use my debit card or cash. Then she goes into this big ordeal how if I carry cash it could be stolen but I’d be safe with using my Discover card. Well no shit Sherlock, nobody wants to steal that shit. If someone stole a wallet and it had a Discover card and a 10 year old condom in it, they’d be ecstatic about the vintage Trojan they found. After this she had the audacity to ask me if I would promise to use my Discover card more. Look, if you’re not happy that I’m not using my card, then grow some balls like those assholes over at MasterCard and cancel my damn accounts for inactivity. I have a house now; I don’t use anything but my Menards card and my debit card. I use one because I’m always buying something for the house and the other because I’d rather spend money I have, not money I can pay back.

In other news, it snowed here Friday and Saturday. Let me repeat that in case it didn’t sink in… it snowed here. Need I remind you that in April I actually was able to leave my windows open overnight a couple times, then in May I’m dodging pelting snow and 30mph winds… that is fucked up, and unfortunately normal in Wisconsin. On the plus side we are up to a balmy 48 degrees here and heading for a high of 57. You know what that means right? No winter coat today!

I’m Off the Grid

I’ve been talking about it for a while, but now it’s finally official, I dumped off my cell phone for the most part. When I say I dumped it off, I mean for the first time in 12 years I’m not on an actual contract. I have a prepaid card I buy and only use the phone when I want to. I am currently on the lame ass pay $3 per day when you use the phone plan. What kind of bullshit plan is that? Being on that plan has resulted in me shutting the phone off completely because I’m not paying that much a day because some numb nut phones or texts me. So a tech geek like me gives up his cell phone, almost sounds like an experiment for a documentary. I have heard the same thing from everyone I’ve told that I scaled back the cell; WHY??

Why not? You see, back in 1998 I got a cell phone and cancelled the land line. My thought was hey cool, I can only pay one phone bill and always have my phone on me. When I did that and told people I was cutting off the landline I heard the same thing… WHY?? That was 12 years ago that I did that. Now everyone is doing that. Now I’m going the other way. You see, I’m a trendsetter, not a trend follower. Besides, do you know how freeing it is to go into a store and not worry that you are going to be interrupted by a phone call? I hear a cell phone now and it makes me happy I don’t have to look like an idiot digging in my pocket to see if it was mine. I hate hearing a cell phone ring when I’m in a store… it’s a pet peeve. Of course now it isn’t a ring, everyone has a stupid fucking ringtone. Oh is that a Nickelback song on the store radio? No, that moron’s is just getting a phone call over there.

Oh, and you texting assholes… what the fuck is that about? I’d rather dial the same number as if I was going to call you, but instead of asking you a question, I’d rather type the thing out. The other thing is people send a text and then sit there and keep looking at their phones waiting for their text back. In my experience, it seems to be women mostly that do that. No stereotypes there, just from my keen observations I see more women hanging onto the hopes and dreams that whatever sperm donor they’re currently receiving from will text them back. It’s kind of sad. Remember when you were about 4 and you were watching Rudolph and the other deer made fun of him and he hung his head in shame… it’s that sad. Anyway, enough shit about cell phones, I feel like I went way off course with that blog.

This wouldn’t be my blog if I didn’t bring this up… it fucking snowed today. I slept with the windows open a week ago and today it snowed. I know what you’re thinking… and you should be ashamed of yourself. Oh, you were thinking that it’s Wisconsin and I should be used to that. Yeah, sure that’s what you were thinking. I’ll overlook your sinful thoughts this time because I’m good like that and it’s almost time for bed. On the plus side of the weather, the 70’s are set to make a comeback soon. I can’t wait. Unfortunately I have to.

It Wasn’t My Space Anyway

It’s finally official; I have deleted my MySpace account. Honestly it was one of the places on the web that I ignored more than this website. I never logged in, never played any of the MySpace games or any of that happy shit. The whole point of that account from the get go was to link up with other 3rd Bass fans and promote my other website; well that was fine and dandy while it lasted, but it got old. As far as I’m concerned, once you get a tie in with music, all everyone wants to do is make you their friend and try and promote their shitty band on your page. Another thing about MySpace was really, what was the point? I can blog whenever I want to, I can post images, I can tell people my likes and dislikes… well isn’t that why I pay money for for? I started this shit years ago, I’ve been blogging since 2002 and I let some Johnny Come Lately bullshit social networking site lure me into their false dreams and broken promises? Hell no, that’s why I deleted my account. Speaking of bullshit social networking sites, I am keeping my Facebook at the moment. I am however, not taking and of the crazy bullshit that comes with it. I play a few games, mostly Farkle and a few other things that take about 4 minutes tops of my time, but I don’t want to be your farm neighbor, I don’t want to join your mafia, and I don’t want to fill out any fucking surveys… I’m old enough to remember the survey bullshit back when they passed around in emails. Now all you get in emails are offers to make my penis larger and my Nigerian friends asking me to help them transfer large amounts of cash.

Wow, it’s almost Easter. That means uncomfortable small talk around the table while eating ham and trying to pretend you get along with all your relatives. That’s what the colored eggs are for, distraction. I don’t do the colored egg thing anymore, way too old for that. Speaking of eggs though, I wonder one thing. Why is it when I want to have fried eggs with toast I can’t save a yolk for my life? Now on the other hand, if I am making scrambled eggs, I can crack the egg 20” above the pan and drop it in and the yolk is just fine. What the hell is up with that? Damn you Murphy and all your laws.

Holy hell, I’m on a roll here, I’m a blogging maniac lately. Tune in next time and I’ll talk about why I hate texting and if you call my cell phone you won’t get me anymore…

Don’t Call it a Comeback…

…I’ve been here for years.

Stop the presses, two days in a row – holy shit. I am sitting in my house after 7pm with the windows open and it’s still March. Did I mention that I’m in Wisconsin? I did fail to mention that I went and had allergy testing done and I have major allergies. What am I allergic to you ask; pretty much anything outside of the house and some things inside the house as well. I have super allergies to grass and trees which makes me think I should concrete the yard this summer. Gotta love those allergies, that’s for sure. So I’m playing around with a concoction of Singulair and XYZAL, which shouldn’t even be a word should it? It looks like you finished the alphabet off and started over then said fuck it, just throw an L in there. I don’t know if the shit is even working because I got a cold, which funny thing, happens to be a side effect of the allergy medicine. Isn’t that a bitch? Hey, your allergies have let up, well let up enough for this cold to take over. But look on the bright side, now your snot is yellowish green again. Awesome, that was worth being poked by a needle 80 times.

You know, usually the weather is pissing me off, but now the Weather Channel is pissing me off. They just changed my local forecast thing again, and this time it talks to me. I thought it was bad when they played that shitty elevator music in the background, but now I get to hear some guy talk weather to me. Hey dickhead, I can read, zip it. Another thing, the weather channel plays a movie on Friday nights now? When did this shit start? It’s a weather related movie, but honestly, how many of those can there be out there. You can only play Twister so many times before people catch on that you don’t have much of a movie catalog. Soon they will play a movie and say, oh, it snowed in the movie, that’s weather related so therefore it’s relevant. It’s not, you’re the Weather Channel and that means you give me the boring ass weather, that’s what I turn the channel on for, not for a movie. Maybe the Food Network should have movies like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory… shit, now they probably will.

Some days I really need something new to bitch about. Every once in a while I get this feeling like I miss working retail. Of course a quick trip to my local grocery store squashes that empty feeling right away. Nothing feels better than walking into a store and seeing some annoying customer pissing and moaning about something and knowing that you truly don’t give a shit about their problems and you’re not going to do anything to help them… just like when I used to work at the store.

Bring on the Warmth

First off I must apologize for missing an entire month of blogging (aka… one blog entry). In my defense I had received a kick ass Earthquake machine for Christmas and I had been playing with it quite a bit. Unfortunately it has since been confiscated by the government which means no more fun for me… back to recklessly driving my Toyota I guess.

Speaking of Toyota, what the hell is NASA sticking their noses into this for? Are we stupid here or what? Hey Toyota and US Government, let me explain something to you. The problem is that these cars are speeding out of control. Do you really want to have NASA, you know the people that make a space shuttle that goes 17,500mph, working on your out of control cars? I think not, this is a car problem. If you want a government program that will slow shit down to a snail’s pace, try Congress. Although this would be fun for the Toyota engineers working with NASA; anytime someone from NASA comes up with a theory they could just say… yeah whatever, what are you a rocket scientist?

I think it’s finally here, even a little bit early. That’s right, the mid 70’s are coming this week and I couldn’t be happier. I know what you’re thinking; now he’s just going to start bitching about it being too warm out. No. Although I’m not looking forward to the sweltering heat of the summer combined with a ton of humidity, I am looking forward to being able to go outside with short sleeves on and not end up in the hypothermia ward at my local hospital. I’m hoping to be able to get out and do some shit this year. I want to golf for sure and possibly go camping this summer. Last year I got so wrapped up in this house bullshit that I totally missed my summer. Now that the remodel is completed I can hopefully relax this summer and do some fun stuff. That reminds me, I need to put some pictures up someday.

What else is on my agenda? Oh yeah, I want to learn how to play the acoustic guitar. I have one now and am trying some self taught techniques and if I feel like I’m getting the swing of things I will probably take some lessons in the future. I have wanted to learn for many years, but I always put it off thinking I would do it in the future. I guess I’m coming to the realization that I’m not getting any younger; what do I look like, Benjamin Button? Either that or I’m having a mid life crisis, which would totally suck ass if I only get a guitar out of my mid life crisis and not a hot convertible and a hotter 19 year old woman. That is what you would call a raw deal any way you slice it.