September 15, 2008
I Saw Some Stupid Shit
I’m back to school now, and it sure is grand. I am taking two night classes every week because I’m apparently lacking in the common sense department. It isn’t too bad, it’s just very time consuming and boring… did I mention that? Accounting classes are extremely boring. I’d rather match socks all day.
I was at the grocery store a few days ago and I saw some stupid shit on the shelf. Now I know what you’re saying, there’s no stupid shit on the shelf at the store, because I buy all that. You forget though, you’re just a mere customer; I was on the inside for over 15 years of my life.
Anyway, there are tons of stupid ass products, most of what I call “lazy” products on the shelves of stores. I don’t think people should be making everything from scratch but some of the lazy products are just plain stupid. Canned frosting was an OK invention for people who don’t want to mix ingredients together and make frosting (trust me, I’ve made it from scratch and I’m a fuckin’ knob in the kitchen). Well I can let canned frosting slide a little bit, but then they came out with microwaveable frosting. The kick here was not only don’t you have to make it, but now you just melt it and pour it on the cake. God forbid you have to pick up a utensil and fucking spread it out. How lazy is that?
It’s like that peanut butter and jelly mixture shit on the shelf. What the fuck is that about? Hey, we know you like peanut butter and jelly, but who has time to open two jars? Besides, you don’t want to cross contaminate your jars. That and the squeeze peanut butter, apparently they have discontinued butter knives in the stores.
Anyway, the latest abomination I saw the other day in the store was pancake batter in an aerosol can. It was like Redi-Whip but it was pancake batter. You spray the batter directly into your pan and then you fry up your cakes. Now… I’ve made pancakes before and I have never had a problem mixing powder and water. It’s actually very simple, you put powder in a bowl, add the right amount of water and you start mixing it up until it gets to the right thickness. Then you put it into the pan and you fry it. I don’t understand the need for the aerosol can of pancake batter. If you are really that lazy, then why don’t you just buy frozen pancakes or waffles and not even cook the shit in the first place. Oh that’s right, you’re too retarded to operate a toaster.
Posted by Dave at September 15, 2008 09:59 PM