Why in the hell do we have 24-hour news channels? If you have a satellite dish or good cable, you have more than a handful of these stations. There is MSNBC, CNBC, FOX News, and of course CNN. Oh, but it doesn’t stop there, CNN has like 9 little bastard children of the original network. There’s a Financial CNN, a Hispanic CNN and the list goes on. So why is that? I don’t understand it at all. I know this is a big world and all, but is there really that much news going on out there that we need this much coverage? If there is something big going on out there, then they are all covering it anyway and therefore we really don’t need them all now do we? Really, how much news can you handle? For the most part, all they ever do is over cover a story. If the president is on TV for a half hour, then he is on all of these 24-hour news channels. But it doesn’t stop there, oh no. Now not only did we get to see all of these channels cover the exact same speech, but we now get to listen to all of the analysts give their views on what the president meant by his speech. Of course, you need to spend an hour or so talking about a half hour speech, because if not then you’ve got another 23 ½ hours left to fill. Then of course they spend probably the first half of every hour recapping the top stories of the day, you know, in case you missed it the first 20 times.
It’s bad enough we have the 24-hour news channels, but then they have to over inform all of us. First you get the news; you know, the old-fashioned way. An actual human sitting on their ass reading a teleprompter acting like they give two shits about whatever it is they’re talking about. However, now we have to suffer the brainchild of the days following 9/11. The wonderful news ticker is now a permanent fixture along the bottom of your television screen. What is the point of the ticker anyway? It’s like if the news girl isn’t giving me the news fast enough, now I can get ahead of her and read the news myself. In fact, why even pay her sorry ass to read the news to me? You’re scrolling it across the bottom of my screen nonstop; just let me read and cut out the middleman. Sometimes they even throw the weather in there. Hey that’s good, now I can see weather for all the places I have no intention of even going to.
As if that wasn’t enough, then they have to throw the time up on the screen too. Well, that’s not even my fucking time zone, so now I can’t trust you at all. Of course, above the wonderful news ticker is the recap. I guess that is in case you were too busy reading the ticker and weren’t listening to the girl, you can now read what she just spoke about directly above the ticker. You know that means they are paying someone to listen to this woman talk and then recap the main points and put them on the screen in little one sentence blurbs. It’s always the stupid little facts that they put down there. Stuff like “Bush accepts nomination” and other obvious facts that you couldn’t miss unless you’re a total retard. If they aren’t doing the recap above the ticker, then they are telling you who is speaking on the screen at the moment. Then sometimes they still insert stupid little facts into that part as well. Of course, the longer you watch this over stimulation of your brain… you might just end up retarded.